The Marriage Abbey

[Today’s article is a guest post from Laura Gulig. Laura is a full-time wife, wannabe stay-at-home mom, and currently works to save the lives of babies and women at the March for Life Education and Defense Fund.]

Being married is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

This may not be something you hear very often, but it is very true for me. Our wedding day was so surreal, and not in a cliché sort of way, but in a very novel way. It was unlike any other day.

The night before the “I do’s”, my friends and I were all snuggled up asleep in the bridal suite. After a few hours, the creepy-crawly-anxiety-bugs crept under my covers, and when they bit me, I was wide awake. Desperate for peace of mind, I crawled out of bed, plopped myself down on a chair, and pulled up the iBreviary app on my phone to pray Morning Prayer. During one of the psalms, I heard a small voice within me whisper “Don’t be afraid, I make all things new.” A deep sense of peace and comfort flooded my mind and soul.

Soon after that, my bridesmaids woke up from their peaceful slumber and the whirlwind began. It was like a fast-paced dream. From the early morning hearing my bridesmaids squeal “you’re getting married!” to the afternoon when Scott and I first gazed lovingly at one another as bride and bridegroom—my life felt as if it were not my own. And to make things even more surreal, the wedding ceremony was a sweet taste of heaven. The incense, the music, everyone singing and participating, it was all so good, true and beautiful. Even our non-Catholic family and friends told us how moved they were by our ceremony!

At the end of it, when Scott and I walked down the aisle as husband and wife, something in the very depths of my soul had transformed. It was very different. Before I got married, I had heard that things would be different. People told me, “Sharing a bathroom is icky!” or “Your routine is never going to be the same!” or the all-too-often “Say goodbye to everything you once loved about single life!”

While some of those things are true (I will admit, I make the bathroom icky!)  it truly is remarkable that the greatest part of all—one of the most glorious graces from God on our wedding day—was the thing I had rarely heard about.

On the night of our wedding, we had a 1.5 hour drive to catch a flight for our honeymoon the next day. Before this day arrived, I thought that the ten o’clock long nighttime drive was going to be exhausting because, you know, I had just gotten married…but my expectations flew out of the window of our blue Hyundai as the God-given gift of adrenaline rushed through my veins. Not to mention, Scott and I had one of the most fruitful conversations I have ever had with any human being! He chuckled as I forgave him about how many times he stepped on my train; we recalled how smoothly our day went thanks to special friends like Clara who magically bippity-boppity-boo’d everything to perfection; and one of the greatest parts of all was the fact that we finally had the chance to bask in the moonlit night and give thanks to God together. Even among all of these beautiful moments, the most striking thing during our conversation was when we started talking about how we were made new.

“I can’t put it into words, but it’s as if I’m a new person!”

And that’s when I realized it: I have been remade. Well, I am the same person, but new in one flesh with Scott. I looked at him with the greatest amount of love I have ever known.

In the spur-of-the-moment I burst out, “I love you!  Not that I didn’t love you before, it’s just…now I really, truly LOVE you!”

I was making no sense, but to me, this was what my soul knew. My limited vocabulary still does not allow me to express myself completely, but it was as if my love for him was an ocean that knew no bounds nor depths. I could not contain it. My love for Scott grew and strengthened after just a few hours of being married.  And today, our love continues to grow even when I don’t do the dishes or he doesn’t fold the laundry. Among the trivial and not so trivial times of life, the love he has for me and I have for him will blossom and never die. Love perseveres and flourishes by the grace of God in good times and in bad, through the mundane pots and pans of life, ‘til death do us part.

Now every morning when I rise in our humble abode amidst a sea of blankets and a small mountain of pillows, I look at my husband with his shiny new ring and peaceful disposition, and I praise God for uniting me to him. The glorious grace of being made new in marriage has helped me to love and to respond more generously in serving God, my husband, and others around me.

While I am still unpacking the graces from our wedding day  (such as humility, patience, gentleness, and another heaping pile of humility), I look to our future with so much hope and joy knowing that Scott and I made a vow to love and to be faithful to one another for the rest of our lives. Each day we are being made new in the image of the God by sharing in the unity of the Most Blessed Trinity.

And so, for all those discerning marriage, for all those engaged to be married, and for all those happily married or looking for hope in marriage, I bring you good news. God tenderly says to you, “Behold, I make all things new.” Trust in Him. He is faithful to His promises.